Reflections: Part III

I missed a day...darn. It was only because we didn't have internet last night, otherwise I would've posted. :P

It is CRAZY that I'll be leaving in FIVE days! It's mostly crazy because it doesn't feel like I'll be leaving at all! I have spent most of my time here longing to go home...there are so many exciting things that will happen when I get back and I am very anxious to start! Because of that distraction, I didn't start processing that I would be leaving so soon until about last week. And now that the time is almost here, I don't feel as pumped about getting back. Maybe because I think I will be stressed because of all the things I am doing this summer (but I am super excited about all of my plans and wouldn't want to not do any of them). It's been good for me to think about leaving because I think I've become more connected with people here and just enjoyed my time more since I know I don't have to "endure" it much longer. But I still can't believe that I'll be gone so soon! It'll just be SO weird for my life to not be here every day - in my apartment, with my team, in this country. It'll also super weird that I won't come back (I mean, maaaybe I'll come next year for spring break, but it's not like I can just drive a few hours to come visit whenever I want). I think that my time here will feel like a dream, since I can't access this part of my life again by visiting, and since it's not like I'll see my team members often when I get home (hopefully I will see them sometimes though!). It'll be very helpful that Whit has been here so that I won't just feel like this was some inaccessible place in a fantasy or in a sci-fi film.

Also, my random brief, deep thought for the day is that I don't think it's a good idea for Cru (or anyone) to offer one-year programs for people who have never visited that country before going there for STINT. Legally, it would not be possible to offer something longer, but I just think that because it takes a looooong time to make connections and get adjusted and make friends and feel comfortable in a place, and as soon as you do that you have to leave. That's why most people come back for a second year I think. I mean, I am SO glad that I could do a year here and will do a year at Tech, but I think it would be more wise/best to have either more of an initial connection to your country or to stay longer.